As for how to connect it: You can just take a 3.5mm stereo jack, solder three wires to the ports corresponding to tip/ring/sleeve and then connect the other end of these wires to the ports of the ER-301 (see documentation for the ER-301 i2c connection and the 16n for which wire has to be connected to which port). No need for a telexb if you just want to connect it to the ER-301 (it’s a bit neater to use the telexb, of course).
How do the controls show up? There is a special device called SC.CV on the ER-301 which you can add to any chain. The device has a port setting (1…n) where the number corresponds to the fader of the 16n. So if you want to control a parameter using the third fader of the 16n, you can just go to that parameters sub-chain, add a SC.CV device and set the port to 3. The device will then transmit the current position of the fader as a “voltage” between 0V and 10V and you can use it just like any other signal in the ER-301.
You don’t need any programming. All you need to do is upload the firmware (which is available at the 16n repository) to the 16n via usb.